Delaware: At Least it's Not the Midwest

The next morning, we decided to cave into statistics and go to McDonalds. I mean, they're everywhere, and eventually you're going to end up at one. I don't know when the last time was I had McDonald's breakfast, and it seemed somehow appropriate to eat a McGriddle in Arkansas. When we walked in, the ladies behind the counter were full of cheer, dancing about and singing - in fact, they were singing "Doe, a deer" from the Sound of Music! They were probably the happiest McDonald's employees I have seen yet. Well, McDonald's can do one thing right: hashbrowns. That was probably the best part.

After we finished breakfast, we walked back to the motel and loaded up the car, and blew straight out of Arkansas and... into Blowklahoma. It was a pretty uneventful drive, except for my road rage.

What does this clown think he's doing?

Move that heap!




Close your eyes, kids!

Ok, it's not good to get too stressed out. Let's calm down... get it under control. Go to your happy place.

Ahh. That's better. And it looks safe, too.

We made it across Blowklahoma in a straight shot, but not before seeing the following Typical Oklahoma scenes:

Free crap - my FAVORITE kind of crap!

Yep. TV and a lazy boy by the side of the road. Looks like it's been used recently.

Harry was very excited to see scenic Rabbit Creek!












We reached the Big Texan in Amarillo, TX by about 4:30 in the afternoon. We made sure Harry was comfortable in his Fortress of Solitude, and went inside. The waiters were all dressed like cowboys, in boots, hats and vests. The waitresses were either cowgirls with too-short denim skirts or burlesque show dresses. And I thought it was a family place!

After perusing the menu, Pie Girl asked if there were any burgers smaller than 1/2 lb. Nope. So she got the half-pounder. Meanwhile, I spied the 5 oz steak-burger and ordered that. Just then, there is some commotion on the stage. "The stage?" you may ask. Yes, there was, in fact, a stage in the restaurant for fools wishing to attempt to eat a 72 oz. steak. Turns out, we had the great fortune of being witnesses to the revolting spectacle of someone trying to eat 4 1/2 pounds of meat in an hour or less. But that's not all. I guess with all the fat-ass, overeating Americans now crowding this nation, eating a steak the size of a small dog isn't enough. To get the steak for free, the challenger must eat not only the obscene amount of beef, but also one (1) shrimp cocktail, one (1) side salad, one (1) baked potato, and one (1) dinner roll - in 60 minutes. And there's a big ol' basketball scoreboard behind the dude reminding him how much time left until he has to cough up the $75 for dinner - or just cough up the dinner. Good luck, buddy. You're going to need it. I quickly made a pact with Pie Girl to finish our meals and leave before this guy blew chunks. Here, watch for yourself...

Beef Pile.

I hope your insurance is paid up.

He was making good progress, but still had way too much left to eat and only 27 minutes left when we paid the bill and walked out. Since there were still several hours left in the day, we decided to press on a little further, marking Santa Rosa, NM as our stop for the night.

We made it, but just barely. Gas was running low and we were in the middle of the desert by this point - no exits or rest stops. We watched the miles count down to Santa Rosa as the gas tank indicator light flashed with increasing urgency. We made it to our exit and immediately pulled into a gas station. It was very windy and very cold - our first taste of winter, since it hadn't even been that cold yet back home. We checked into the Motel 6 and hit the hay.